Day 69 - Friday
I just got out of the emergency room. Apparently I
Well, I woke up in the shower again, in the same position as last time it happened. Except this time, the pill bottle was empty, and I could barely stand.
I managed to crawl to the phone and call an ambulance, though it took several tries to get the right words out- it was like my tongue was trying to form different words as I spoke.
I blacked out again, but I must have given them enough information because I felt a pinch in my arm, and woke up in an ambulance to an EMT placing an IV. He was saying something, but all I heard was a dull rumble.
I woke up on a hospital bed several hours later. It was evening, but the fluorescent lights in my room were still on, and they were blinding to my sore eyes. My mouth was dry, and there was an acidic taste on my tongue. I tried to move, but my whole body was aching, and it caused a slight tug in my nose. My throat felt tight, and I coughed, which only made it worse. I tried to call out, but I couldn’t say anything, and I started to panic when I realized I could barely breathe on my own.
I was coughing and gagging when a nurse rushed in and calmed me down. She told me she would bring a doctor in to remove the tube in my nose since I was awake and capable of breathing alone.
After the tube was out, my throat was still sore and I still couldn’t stop coughing, but at least I could speak. The doctor immediately started in with the twenty questions, ultimately coming down to why I had tried to kill myself. He obviously didn’t believe me when I said I didn’t, and that I had no memory of the previous night, and no, I wasn’t depressed, and no, there was no history of psychological disorders in my family.
They finally discharged me, but they gave me some pamphlet about suicide help or some nonsense that I threw away on the way out. I called a cab and went home.
He doesn’t want me to leave. I’ve got to get out before he actually kills me.